Details

Today was a little scary. I arrived at the NICU to find out that they had to remove Lilly's PICC line. There was some concern it had become infected. Her temperature was also very low and they were having a hard time getting her warm again. They ran some bloodwork and luckily, there does not appear to be any signs of infection. Her white blood cell counts were within normal limits. They did a blood culture but it will take about 5 days to get those results back. For now, they decided that she does not need an antibiotic.

Other than that, things are good. She hasn't pooped in almost 3 days, but her bowel sounds are good and her tummy is soft. They say the phototherapy can sometimes dry them up a little, so hopefully she is just constipated. The doctors are the same ones who treated Abby, and they are well aware of her history and NEC, so they are watching her tummy very closely, which makes me quite happy. She is up to 10cc's of food and tomorrow will advance to 13 if she continues to tolerate her feeds. Next up is the head ultrasound...happening sometime tomorrow. We are praying for good results on that.

As for the details of her birth, well, here they are...poorly written I am sure...so please forgive me for that. It's late. I'm tired. And I'm still heavily medicated. But here goes...

One week ago tonight, at around midnight, I woke up with terrible stomach pain. Brian was at work. I waited about 5 minutes to see if it went away before I realized that it was a similar pain as the one I felt a month ago, when they removed my appendix. I called my Mom who immediately came over, we packed up Abby, and went to the hospital.

The OB/Hospitalist who was there didn't know my history, and last month's appendix/internal bleeding details were not yet in the computer. When we got there, they put me on the monitor and found I was having contractions about 1 minute apart. At this point, I was screaming out in pain and begging for drugs, which they would not give me until they figured out the source. I think they thought I was just a wimp that couldn't handle labor pains. Little did they know what was to come...

After 2 shots of terbutaline and eventually being put on mag sulfate, the contractions decreased to 1 every 4 minutes or so. They ordered an ultrasound. I think the tech was scared of me because every time she tried to put the probe on my belly, I screamed. My mom was yelling at the nurses, telling them that clearly there was something going on other than just contractions, but it fell on deaf ears.

Ultimately, the ultrasound showed that the blood vessel causing the vasa previa appeared to be moving into my cervix. This is when they decided the baby needed to be delivered. Still, I had no pain meds on board, and they had to cut my shirt off of me to get me in a gown. The on-call doctor was on his way to the hospital to deliver the baby. I wasn't happy about someone other than my doctor doing the surgery, but I didn't have much choice.

The details from here get a little foggy. And if I didn't know better, I would think I had blacked out from the pain because I don't even remember Brian arriving.

Anyways, by now it was probably about 1:45am. I still had no pain meds on board. I don't know how exactly to describe the pain, other than it was indescribable. That's just how bad it was. As they wheeled me to the operating room, I remember signing a couple of consent forms, including one that gave them permission to do a hysterectomy if it was necessary. They got me in the operating room and on the table, and from a distance I heard someone say "Stacie...I'm right here. I'm going to do your surgery". It was MY doctor. Not the hospitalist. Not the on-call OB. It was MY Dr. C. He was there for ME. I later found out that he couldn't sleep that night and just happened to call in to see what was going on in L&D. He had no idea I was even there, and certainly did not need to come in. But he had some sort of sixth sense or something and called. And as soon as he heard I was headed for surgery, he came rushing to the hospital and made it there in time to deliver Lilly.

Shortly thereafter, I was put under general anesthesia and the surgery began. When Dr. C opened me up, they found the source of the pain immediately. It turned out that my uterus had ruptured. They found a hole the size of a tennis ball in the spot where my previous classical incision was made. And to make matters worse, part of the placenta had actually made it's way to the rupture site and was partially in my stomach.

No wonder I was in pain. A ruptured uterus topped with contractions and the internal bleeding that goes along with it.

I woke up in recovery, happy to learn that they were able to save my uterus, but horrified when I heard that Lilly and I were lucky to be alive. Had it not been for the knowledge of the vasa previa, they likely would have tried to stop the labor but not deliver me, in which case they would not have known about the rupture. A scary thought for sure.

I spent the next 2 days getting blood transfusions. 4 units in total, because I had lost so much. Dr. C. also thinks that the perforation of that scar actually started back in November, and was likely the cause of the pain and blood in my abdomen when they took my appendix out. He thinks at that point it was probably just too small to detect.

Well, you know the rest of the story. To be honest, I am still trying to get my head around what actually transpired, and just how lucky I/we are. I have no doubt that a certain little angel was looking out for us that night. And I think my life is forever changed because of the events that took place in those early morning hours...

And not just because I had another baby.

"A Christmas Miracle"

I will post all of the details of her birth soon, but for now, meet our latest miracle, Lillian Jean...



Lilly was born via emergency c-section on Monday, December 21st at 2:07am (at 31 weeks). She weighed 3 pounds 11 ounces and was 16.5 inches long. As babies usually do, she has lost some weight and today was 3 pounds 4 ounces. She is doing well.

Thank you for your prayers for our family. Although we are certain that Lilly has the same fight in her as her big sister, she has a lot of growing to do and many milestones to hit before she can come home, so please, keep praying.

Updates on our health and the rather long and scary birth story are coming soon...

News From Stacie's BFF....

Hello. I come to you asking for prayers over the Corntassel Family. Stacie delivered sweet baby girl Corntassel early this morning.

Please know that Stacie will update when she can but for now just pray for healing and health.

I spoke to her this morning and although I am not going to share the details of the arrival or conditions know that she is resting and so is baby.

Again I just ask you to lift the Corntassel family up with prayer and well wishes.

Thank you and blessings to all,
ML

9 days and counting

Yup, you heard me right. 9 days and counting until hospital bedrest, and I am SO not ready. It could be worse I guess. I mean, I was able to extend my time at home by 2 days. If you remember, I was supposed to be admitted on December 26th, but now the plan has changed to December 28th. I am so happy to be able to be home for the holidays, although Brian does have to work on Christmas Day. Bummer, huh? But the plan now is to have one more visit with my OB on Christmas Eve, then see the peri in his office on the 28th for one last in-office growth scan and cervical length check.

I was told to come "with my bags packed".

So the way I envision it is to go to the peri's office (yes, I will bring my bag), then hopefully enjoy my last lunch "out" for a while with Brian and Abby, then take Abby to her 16-month well visit Monday afternoon, before they drop me off for my extended stay at "Hotel Hoag".

From there, I will remain on 24-hour fetal monitoring. The purpose is to watch for any drops in heartrate, as this would be an indicator that baby girl is kicking the blood vessel. If they find she is, they will have no choice but to take her. You see, the bigger she gets the more likely she could rupture the blood vessel when she kicks. If that were to happen, there would be little to no chance of saving her. That's the whole reason for the bedrest and planned early delivery. I was given steriod shots shortly after I had the appendectomy, just in case surgery triggered any labor, but since it's now been a month, they will give me another round of steriods once I am admitted. Assuming baby girl behaves and does not practice her karate kicks on that blood vessel, then she will be delivered via a planned c-section, on either January 14th or 15th. I will be in my 34th week of pregnancy when baby girl is delivered.

So, as of this week, I have gained 12 pounds total. Not much, I know...and it's not for a lack of trying, that's for sure. I am definitely bigger than I was when I delivered the twins, although that's no surprise considering I have been pregnant for 3 weeks longer than I was last time. And last Monday, baby girl measured 3 pounds 7 ounces, although I am a little skeptical of those measurements they do with an ultrasound. But even if you give or take 5 ounces (making her 3.2), she is still outweighing Abby by a whopping 14 ounces. Crazy, huh? Honestly, I am just hoping to get her into the 4 1/2 to 5 pound range before delivery. Considering she's coming at 34 weeks, I'd be very happy with that.

I still have tons of things to do. We are working on getting our guest room ready for the Grandmas, who will be working in shifts to help care for Abby when Brian is working. I have managed to get all of Abby's old newborn clothes out, but it still needs to be washed and put away. And apparently, I never planned on having another preemie, because I sold all of Abby's preemie-sized clothing on e-Bay as soon as Abby grew out of it, so some shopping needs to be done. And there's a few other odds and ends I need to get.

I still have some holiday shopping to do, and we are hosting a Christmas Eve gathering (12 people or so) Thursday night. Not to mention, Christmas Eve is also our wedding anniversary, so I need to come up with something for my wonderful husband. Oh that's right! I almost forgot that a dear friend of mine is hosting a gold party at my house on Tuesday night too! Humph. All this while per the doctor's orders, I am not to be on my feet for more than 45 minutes at a time.

Now that I think about it, I should not be sitting here blogging...I have a lot to do!

Pregnancy Brain

I swear there is such a thing as pregnancy brain. And whenever I do something, um, stupid, shall we say? Well, I will blame it on pregnancy brain. Take for example, yesterday...

It's 6:45am. One of the coldest mornings of the year, which for us, was in the 40s. Brrrr. Abby and I are in our pjs, getting our morning started with some milk and a diaper change. As I got up to take the dirty diaper out through the garage to the garbage, I close the door into the house behind me so that Abby doesn't follow. Just like I do Every. Single. Day.

It takes about 5 seconds to get to the garbage cans and back, and sure enough, as I turn the knob of the door to get back in the house, I find out it's locked!

That's right my friends, I locked myself out of my house with the baby inside!

And of course this has to happen on a day that Daddy will not be home. I mean, that's how things like this always happen, right?

So here's me, freezing in my pjs in the garage, shaking and banging on the door (while crying of course...I'm pregnant, remember? The tears come pretty easily these days). And poor Abigail, on the other side of the door. Crying too.

I finally get what I thought was the brilliant idea to take the door off the hinges. Yep. You heard me right. Take the door off the hinges. Except taking a locked door off the hinges doesn't make the door unlock. Nor does it allow you to remove the door. So, after more panic and both of us still crying, and trying to use just about every tool in the toolchest to pick the lock...just like they do in the movies, I finally decide to see if any of the downstairs windows are unlocked.

I couldn't even get the screens off.

So, I went back to the garage and found a swiss army knife in Brian's toolchest. I finally had the wherewithall to cut a hole in a window screen so that I could get a grip on the screen and pull it out. Then I pulled a chair up to said window and much to my surprise, it wasn't locked. I was finally able to open the window(until it hit the back of the sofa on the inside) and was luckily able to wedge my way through it.

Pregnant belly and all.

The whole ordeal probably lasted 10 or 15 minutes tops, and I am pretty sure if any of the neighbors happened to be looking out their second story windows at the time, it had to be pretty comical for them to watch. And I am sure Abby has already forgotten about "the time Mommy locked herself out of the house and left me all alone inside."

But me? Well, I haven't forgotten. Not by a long shot. The trauma is still there. I keep re-living it in my head. And let's just say I am scarred.

Probably for life.

And that's my story.

And now I have to go because Abby and I are going to the hardware store. We're going to have another house key made! One to hide somewhere on the outside of our house.

Pregnancy. Brain.

Celebrating Abby and Honoring Madison

Updated:

Our candles, lit at 5:10 and 5:15 in honor of our donor (Angel) Madison and our recipient (Survivor) Abigail...





From the TTTS Foundation Website TTTSFoundation.org:

World TTTS Awareness Day is an international mobilization effort created by The Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome Foundation to increase awareness of the #1 problem facing multiples. It is crucial for women to get an ultrasound in the first trimester to identify multiples and then to determine whether there is one placenta or two. Women must learn the warning signs of TTTS, the 15 questions to ask at each ultrasound, and the available treatment options. World TTTS Awareness Day is about empowering parents and is filled with messages of Hope, Help and Encouragement. Your babies can make it and be healthy. Don't ever give up. Please, Get Educated, Get Ultrasounds, Ask Questions, Get Treatment and Get Involved! This day is also a remembrance day for all the babies who have had TTTS. Candles will be lit tonight across the world during the vigil and messages may also be left for your babies through lighting online candles.



On December 7th, we light a candle at 5:10PM and 5:15PM in all time zones for the donor and recipient babies to create a wave of light, love, honor and hope all around the world.

As our candles are lit, we pray:

Dear Heavenly Father,

A mother's heart is pure love, filled with passion to nurture and protect the beautiful and perfect gifts from you.. her babies. From conception, new life is cherished and magnificent to behold. Upon hearing "There is more than one baby.. you are expecting twins, or triplets" an expecting mother finds a place of unparalleled joy! Every good and perfect gift comes from you, Lord.

Dear Lord, today on World TTTS Awareness Day, please drench these precious mothers of multiples and their babies in your divine protection. Their lives are forever changed by the diagnosis of twin to twin transfusion syndrome . Lord please create an intense desire by the medical community worldwide to become educated about TTTS and provide early closely monitored medical treatment. You have laid out a plan for our lives God, and you have a blueprint through The Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome Foundation to equip expecting mothers diagnosed with TTTS. We honor each mother and child who have endured TTTS and have yet to take this journey. Lord we ask that our dedication remain focused and strong until there is a cure for TTTS.

God, please help all the mothers and fathers in such deep sorrow over the loss of their babies. Please let them know that we care, their babies are so important and loved and we remember with them, and that our hands are in theirs. They are not alone.

Amen

Written by Terri Ann Boardway, The Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome Foundation Prayer Request Coordinator

Tidbits

We survived the Thanksgiving holiday, thankfully. I am now on the countdown to hospital bedrest and feel as though I have a million things to do, and yet I don't feel like doing a darn thing. I would make a list, heck maybe even whine about it all on my blog, but I don't even feel like doing that. That's just how lazy I am feeling these days.

There really hasn't been too much excitement since my appendectomy. I think I am almost back to normal, just a little sore here and there. As a matter of fact, my appointment yesterday at the perinatologist went so well, he went so far as to say I could increase my activity! I still have to "take it easy", but for all intents and purposes, bedrest is over. And all that really means is, I can keep doing what I've been doing, I just don't have to feel guilty about it anymore. Seriously...bedrest with a 15 month old running around? It's practically impossible. Anyhow, baby looked as though she was doing great and weighed 2 pounds 10 ounces. Wow. I've never had a baby that big in my belly! Hopefully she'll keep gaining and be a big and chubby 35-weeker when she is born.

Abby has been a hoot lately. Out of nowhere she has started talking up a storm. She points at what she wants and makes funny little noises. When I ask her if she is hungry, she stops whatever she is doing and walks into the kitchen to stand next to her chair at the table. If she wants a snack, she points to the top of the fridge (that's where we keep her snacks). Now I can tell her to go get something (ball, monkey, etc) and sure enough, she knows exactly what I am talking about and will go get it. It was like someone flipped a switch overnight and she went from being a baby to a little girl.

A few months ago Brian bought her these adorable pink Converse Hightops that, at the time, were too big for her. I put them in the closet and forgot about them for the longest time. I have a bad habit of putting things away that are still too big and then remembering them when it's too late and she has outgrown them. But alas, I remembered the shoes and they fit her perfectly. And seriously...they are the cutest thing I have ever seen. See for yourself...