Trick or Treat?

Happy Halloween!

Photo Opportunity

I can't take credit for this photo idea. I've seen it on many a blog, but I couldn't resist being a copycat.

She's holding her own

Pacifier!!! See that? My big girl is holding her own pacifier. How cool is THAT?

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So we met with Dr. German yesterday. He's Abigail's surgeon, umm...lifesaver more like it. Anyhow, it turns out he would like to wait until Abby is 50 weeks (gestational age, if there is such a thing), before he "puts her back together" (who is she, Humpty Dumpty???). Research shows that they do better after 50 weeks. They tend not to revert back to their preemie ways as much. You know, like having to learn how to eat again. And learn how to breathe again. So it looks like sometime in February we will have to go back to the hospital for a couple of weeks. But she will have her intestines re-attached and be rid of the colostomy for good. I am dreading the day I have to take her back there, but on the other hand, to actually have a poopie diaper to change will be a blessing.

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An update on me...I got dressed yesterday! Yay me! And thanks to my wonderful husband, the pile (mountain) of clean (dirty) clothes is finally put away. As for sleep, well, sleep is over-rated, isn't it?

Oh! I forgot to mention...I got a super-cute dress for the wedding from White House Black Market. Umm, L-O-V-E that store. I needed it like I need a hole in the head, but what the heck? A little post-pregnancy splurge won't hurt, right? I mean, it's not like I had the easiest pregnancy. I deserve a new dress, darnit. And one of these days, I might even try to stop justifying it.

Fun in the (Rain) Forest

Today Abigail and I were on our own. It was the first time.

Since she came home Daddy and I have been double-teaming her, but today it was game on. One-on-one. Mano y mano. Abby vs. Mommy. And to be honest, she kicked my butt.

My goal today...my only goal...was to keep her up and playing because she has her days and nights all mixed up and Daddy and I need a good night's sleep. That's not hard, right? To keep her up and playing?

Here's how it went...



Yes, that's right. That's her. Right now. Right next to me. Sleeping as peacefully as ever. I guess THAT plan backfired. Score one point for Abigail.

We did play for a while. In the rainforest.



The rainforest was great, until she got hungry. Then she yelled at me. And when I say yelled, I mean Y-E-L-L-E-D. With a capital Y. Who knew someone so tiny could have a voice so big? So even though it wasn't time for a bottle, I caved and gave her one. Score another point for Abigail.

And did I mention how messed up her meal schedule is now? Way to go Mom.

I guess all in all, you could say we survived the day. Nothing got broken. No one got hurt. All is still as it should be. Well, sort of. So that pile...e'hem...mountain, of CLEAN laundry there in the corner didn't get put away yet.



And ok, so now the CLEAN laundry might just be buried under some new DIRTY laundry. And that bag there, on the floor. I guess I could have picked that up. It's left there from last night, when I tore apart the closet looking for something to wear to Jeff and Susan's wedding this weekend. An hour and 4 dresses later...and I've decided to go shopping tomorrow.

And those bottles. I swear they are multiplying. There's one right here next to me.



And there's one. Right there. On the floor. See it? Across the room from where I usually sit to feed her? How'd that get there?



And hello?!?! Is that another one? There by the UNMADE bed?



Geezo. I guess it is. I guess I should stop blogging now. I guess I should get this mess cleaned up. Before Abby wakes up for the night.

And one last thing...does it matter that it's 6:15pm and neither of us are out of our PJs yet?

College Gameday

Saturdays are the BEST DAY EVER. Well, at least in the fall when college football is on. And it looks like we may have the biggest 'lil fan right here in our house.



I'm not sure who she is cheering for here. Penn State or Ohio State? Neither is Mommy or Daddy's team, so I guess it doesn't really matter.



If she had words, I think she'd be saying "C'mon ref! He stepped out of bounds!"



Game over.

Then and now.

I meant to write this 2 day ago.

You see, 2 days ago Abigail turned 8 weeks old. So can we pretend, as you read this, that it’s 2 days ago?

I can’t even believe that it’s been 8 weeks.
8 weeks since I lay in a hospital bed, knowing the end of my pregnancy had come. And come way too soon.
8 weeks since I hit my call button, telling the nurse she needed to take my temperature.
8 weeks since she took it and frantically uttered the words “It’s 103. I’m calling Dr. Deyan”.
8 weeks since I was rushed down the hallway to the OR for an emergency c-section.
8 weeks since they told me I would not be awake to witness my babies being born.
8 weeks since my husband had to pace back and forth in a hallway outside the operating room door, unable to watch the birth of his daughters.
8 weeks since I said my first hello to my first born daughter Abigail.
8 weeks since I said my first hello, and my last goodbye, to my daughter Madison.
8 weeks since I lived the happiest day of my life.
And 8 weeks since I lived the saddest day of my life.

I can recount every moment. Every detail. Every ounce of joy and every ounce of heartache. I remember it well. I remember it like it was yesterday, yet it seems like a lifetime ago.

So I’ve taken some pictures. Ok…a lot of pictures. I thought I would share some “then and nows”…

Then, she wore the teeny-tiny onesie on the left (size micro-preemie).
Now she wears the cute polka-dotted onesie in the middle (size preemie).
Someday, she'll wear the pretty flowered onesie on the right. It's a size "newborn".



Then she wore this adorable knit cap. They put it on her as soon as she was born.
Now she wears the little tan one. It was a hand-me-down from her friend Tatum (who is 4 weeks younger and about 3 pounds bigger. Thanks Tatum!)
Someday, she'll fit into the one on the right. The "one size fits all" sized hat.



And then there is Abby.

Then (she was 56 minutes old and 2 pounds 4 ounces)...



And now (she's 8 weeks, 2 days old and weighs 5 pounds)...



Then...



And now...



It's amazing isn't it? What 8 weeks and 3 pounds can do for you?

Happy 8 week birthday beautiful girl. I love you.

Preemie size?

Why don't they make preemie sized hoodie towels???



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I was worried about leaving them home alone to go get a much needed haircut.



I should have known better.

Photo shoot...just a few of my favs

Credits
Wardrobe provided by
The entire Stevens Clan

Props (the pink elephant)
Courtesy of my good friend Erin J

Backdrop (Fluffy and oh so cozy blanket) provided by
Uncle Jeff & Auntie Susan

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

We're still here!

It's been 3 days since we brought Abigail home and with the exception of sleepless nights, we're doing OK! Not that I didn't think we would be, but she is such an easy baby. She sleeps A-L-O-T! I guess that's what she should be doing considering she's still a month away from her due date. The sleepless nights are purely my fault. As I suspected I would, I find myself checking on her about every two minutes to make sure she is still breathing. Can you say paranoid???

Anyhow, yesterday we went to the pediatrician. She didn't do much but weigh her and ask questions about her medical history. It was pretty uneventful. If you can believe it, she is a big 4 pounds 3 ounces. And she is 17.5 inches long. She started at 2p 4oz and 14.5 inches. It's amazing how big she is getting...and how quickly she is doing it. She has already outgrown some of her clothes, which almost makes me a little sad. Weird, huh?

So yesterday it was the ped, today the eye doc. She had to have her eyes dilated and then they repeated that horrible eye exam. Daddy and I stayed in the room with her this time, but couldn't watch. As usual, she took it like a champ and there's still no sign of ROP, so once again...another great day!

The plan for tomorrow is pictures. I want to take lots of pictures.

Have you seen this Pooh?

Name: Winnie the Pooh
Age: 1 day old
Date of birth (aka: inflated): 10/12/08
Missing since: 10/12/08

Pooh was last seen at approximately 9pm last night, wearing a red t-shirt and carrying a bouquet of pink balloons. He was last seen floating above the steps on our front porch. His pink balloons were found unharmed. If anyone has any information on the whereabouts of this missing bear, please leave a comment on this blog.

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Ok, in all seriousness...are you kidding me? Some passer-by actually stole our Winnie the Pooh balloon??? At first we thought that maybe he just couldn't hold on tight enough because of the crazy Santa Ana winds, but after some careful forensics work completed by Detective Daddy, it was concluded that the ribbon that tied him to the porch was cleanly severed by some sort of sharp object. Maybe scissors. Maybe a pocketknife. The weapon has not yet been (and probably never will be) recovered.

The motive as well, is still unknown. All fingers point to a parent passing by who just wanted to please their child. Or possibly a silly prankster.

She's home!

Details coming soon...

PO'd

No, no, silly. I don't mean PO'd as in ticked off. I mean PO'd as in "by mouth"! That's right...Abigail is taking every meal by mouth!

So why am I so excited about this, you ask? Well, for one thing, it's one step closer to being home. Secondly, well, I'll let you see for yourself...if you can see...the picture is small (technical difficulties.)



Well? Do you see it? Do you see what I'm talking about?

Of course you don't! It's not there! That horrible feeding tube is not there! They took it out today. I thought it was going to be a few days before they did it, so what a pleasant surprise to arrive at the hospital and see that it was gone. Once again, there I stood at her bedside...crying. This time it was happy tears though. It is starting to be a regular thing for me...the happy tears, and I LOVE it!

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Ok. So enough about that. I just have to show you this picture too. You have to see her shirt.



No no, your eyes are NOT playing tricks on you. Those ARE in fact golf balls on that shirt. I guess this is what I get for going to bed early and leaving Daddy alone with the internet.

Actually, in all honesty, it's very cute. And Daddy meant well. And doesn't she look good in green?

Getting big, yet still tiny

Sometimes I feel like the pictures don't do her justice. Neither for how cute she really is (I know...I am biased), nor how small she is. So here she is being burped by her Daddy. I know it's her back side, but look at her compared to her Daddy's hand! She's tiny!



And by the way, do you think her hair is blond or red? Because above it looks blond to me, but check this out:



Now it's red don't you think? I guess time will tell...

So here's the latest and greatest...she's 3 pounds 10 ounces. About 16.5 inches long. Her meals are now "ad lib". This means it's up to the nurse whether to feed her by bottle or tube, depending on how alert she is. She has taken every meal by bottle except for 6pm last night and 6am this morning (they didn't want to wear her out too much). They are also now letting her eat as much as she wants, instead of keeping her on a volume schedule. She's been taking about 40 cc's or so. This is AWESOME news. They may even take that stupid tube out of her nose in the next day or two. She's still in her condo because she's a little too small to maintain her own temperature. I guess she needs to weigh another 100 grams or so in order to accomplish that feat. During rounds today the doc said her growth chart is "gorgeous". Yay!

So way back when (6 weeks ago) I got this adorable little name plate (beautifully crafted by ML) to put on Abby's bed at the hospital. It was made with lots of love, using the same colors as are in her crib bedding. Today I decided I would bring it home and frame it. It's the first piece of art that I have to put in the nursery. Isn't it cute? Thanks to Merry Lynn for making it. We love it and can't wait to hang it.

Beauty Parlor

Abigail had a busy day today. She started at 6am, getting her ostomy changed. Then she relaxed for a bit until we got there at noon. I gave her a bottle and she drank the whole darn thing in minutes. Then we took turns holding her until 3 o'clock, when we gave her a sponge bath. Nurse Mandy showed us how to wash her hair, and boy does she like to have her head rubbed!









When we were done with the bath, she slept some more. Daddy read her a story called the Clumsy Crab. Then 6pm came he fed her! For the first time ever, Daddy got to feed his daughter. He did great, paced her perfectly and once again, she finished the whole darn thing. She is such a good eater!



I almost forgot to mention, she is a whopping 3 pounds 8 ounces! Oh, and she ripped her feeding tube out again last night. They had to put it back in AGAIN. I REALLY think she is trying to tell us something.

I wonder...

I couldn't stop thinking about Madison today. She is in my thoughts every day...but for some reason especially today.

I wonder what she looked like.

Did she have the same fingers and toes?

Did she have a mole or a birth mark? Something that would have made it easy to tell them apart?

Would she have been as fiesty?

Would she have cried as loud?

I wonder if I will always regret not unwrapping her from her blanket when I held her and told her I loved her.

Or if I just regret it right now.

Update...

Abigail had to have a blood transfusion yesterday. Everything is ok, she just isn't making red blood cells fast enough. She was looking really pale, but now that she got the blood her color has come back and she looks so much better. Once again we heard the infamous "it's a preemie thing". She has an IV back in her again but just for a couple of days. I think it may have been more painful for me to see her with that darn IV in her arm than it was for her to get it put in there. She is so tough and such a fighter and I don't know how she does it. They are all such fighters, those NICU babies. And it makes me so sad that they have to be there.

Brian has a theory. It's that all babies should get a fair shake and come out healthy. Let the parents screw them up later, but geez, give 'em a break to start.

I don't know. I thought it was a good theory.

On a happier note, yesterday the developmental therapist told us, and I quote, "She is the poster child for bottle feeding". And yes, when she said "she", she was referring to Abigail. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but what else is a proud Mommy to do? Let something THAT big go unmentioned??? We are SO proud of her I cannot even put it into words. She is getting a bottle every third meal now. Today she hit the magical 1500 grams (3lbs 5oz), so they have begun to wean her off of the heat in her condo. She's almost ready for an open crib!

Well, they have told us we better start getting ready because "she will be home before you know it." Again "she" = Abigail. Anyone know when "before you know it" actually is? 'Cause I sure don't and I couldn't find anyone in the NICU that did either. Nonetheless, just in case it's soon, I took the mandatory CPR class today. And I called the pediatrician we want to use to make sure she is taking new patients. And I daydreamed about putting the nursery together...