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Monday, December 8, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
TTTS Awareness Day
Today is designated as International TTTS Awareness Day. TTTS is Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome. It is what took the life of our little baby Madison at 24 weeks 2 days gestation. We had never heard of this disease until we were diagnosed with it at 16 weeks pregnant. The disease only affects identical twins. It is devastating if not treated, and even sometimes when it is treated...sadly we are living proof of that.
Today I am sad. I am sad for us as parents. I am sad for Abigail, that she will never know her sister. I am sad for Madison, that I couldn't do more to save her. And I am sad for every family who has to deal with this awful diagnosis.
Tonight, there is a worldwide candlelight vigil and prayer. In the privacy of their own homes, participants will light candles in honor of all of the babies who have or will suffer from TTTS. The donor babies will have candles lit in their honor at 5:10pm (in all time zones), followed by the recipient babies at 5:15. Abby and I are going to participate. In 2 hours and 14 minutes we are going to light a candle for sweet little Madison. And 5 minutes later, we will light one for Abby as well.
The TTTS Foundation is a non-profit organization that helps families suffering from TTTS. They were incredibly helpful to us when we were diagnosed. We are forever grateful for the work that they do and like to support them as much as we can. If you would like to help too, you can click here to make a donation.
Here are some photos I have never shared before, but I post them today, in honor of my sweet angel.
A package ironically opened today, that came from ML, contained this little ornament (along with others), which already hangs on our Christmas tree. Thank you ML.
Madison's "birth certificate", made by one of the nurses.
The blanket and hat Madison wore when her Daddy and I held her, along with her hospital id bands.
A shelf in Abigail's nursery. The bears were given to us by the hospital. The white bear was a gift from Madison, to Daddy and me. The brown bear is from Madison to Abigail. I slept with that brown bear every night while I was in the hospital. The white keepsake box holds her blanket, hat and id bands. The little blue one in front of it holds a picture of her feet, as well as a cast of her footprints. The marble building block is Madison's urn. Her final resting place. Appropriately placed in the room she was meant to share with her sister.
Please. Donate if you can. Future families need our help.
Thank you.
Today I am sad. I am sad for us as parents. I am sad for Abigail, that she will never know her sister. I am sad for Madison, that I couldn't do more to save her. And I am sad for every family who has to deal with this awful diagnosis.
Tonight, there is a worldwide candlelight vigil and prayer. In the privacy of their own homes, participants will light candles in honor of all of the babies who have or will suffer from TTTS. The donor babies will have candles lit in their honor at 5:10pm (in all time zones), followed by the recipient babies at 5:15. Abby and I are going to participate. In 2 hours and 14 minutes we are going to light a candle for sweet little Madison. And 5 minutes later, we will light one for Abby as well.
The TTTS Foundation is a non-profit organization that helps families suffering from TTTS. They were incredibly helpful to us when we were diagnosed. We are forever grateful for the work that they do and like to support them as much as we can. If you would like to help too, you can click here to make a donation.
Here are some photos I have never shared before, but I post them today, in honor of my sweet angel.
A package ironically opened today, that came from ML, contained this little ornament (along with others), which already hangs on our Christmas tree. Thank you ML.
Madison's "birth certificate", made by one of the nurses.
The blanket and hat Madison wore when her Daddy and I held her, along with her hospital id bands.
A shelf in Abigail's nursery. The bears were given to us by the hospital. The white bear was a gift from Madison, to Daddy and me. The brown bear is from Madison to Abigail. I slept with that brown bear every night while I was in the hospital. The white keepsake box holds her blanket, hat and id bands. The little blue one in front of it holds a picture of her feet, as well as a cast of her footprints. The marble building block is Madison's urn. Her final resting place. Appropriately placed in the room she was meant to share with her sister.
Please. Donate if you can. Future families need our help.
Thank you.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
My first award!
Thanks to Heather for giving me my first award!
Here are the rules:
1. Pick six people and pass this award to them.
2. Then contact them and let them know you have chosen them and their blog for the award.
3. Also link back to the person who gave you this award.
I'm passing it along to:
Merry Lynn
Devin
Jenna
Kristi
Beth
Jeana
Here are the rules:
1. Pick six people and pass this award to them.
2. Then contact them and let them know you have chosen them and their blog for the award.
3. Also link back to the person who gave you this award.
I'm passing it along to:
Merry Lynn
Devin
Jenna
Kristi
Beth
Jeana
Friday, December 5, 2008
A letter to my daughter
Dear Abigail,
Hi Baby! This is my first letter to you. I should write more often, I know. Anyways...you are going to be 15 weeks old on Sunday! We just can't believe it. Time is flying by. And just so you know, your adjusted age will be 4 weeks. I wanted to give you a recap of what we did this week. First off, we met with the Regional Center. Remember them? They will be providing any therapies you may need...physical, occupational, speech...etc. Not that we think you will need them, but these are things we need to stay on top of. As of today, we are still waiting for an assessment of your development and a recommendation for future visits. We also saw the eye doctor this week...and you were released! Yay for you! Your eyes are completely normal for your adjusted age. We made an appointment with a pediatric opthamologist in 3 months to check for any nearsightedness or farsightedness...but I am confident that you can see just perfectly. The good news is, there is no longer a chance for ROP. You are out of the woods baby.
I am sure I don't have to remind you of this, as you still have the bandaids on your legs to prove it, but you had a couple of vaccinations at the doctor's office yesterday. Yes, I am one of THOSE moms who still believes in immunizations. Sorry honey. You weighed in at a whopping 8 pounds 11 ounces! Holy cow are you getting to be a big girl. You were 20.5 inches tall. That's 6 pounds 7 ounces bigger than your birth weight and 6 inches taller than your height at birth. You also showed Dr. Pepek that your walking reflexes are in tact. Daddy and I thought you looked like you were ready to run a marathon. Ok...well, maybe not a marathon...but you are definitely showing signs that you are going to get those little legs going when you are ready to.
This week your personality really started to show. Just this morning we saw what we thought might be a smile...and not because you were pooping! You love getting little kisses on your cheeks. I think that makes you smile. You've also been practicing holding your head up. You LOVE looking at yourself in the mirror, which I think is just adorable. And as it's been since the beginning, you can still yell like nobody's business when you are mad at us.
You continue to amaze your Daddy and me with your progress. You are such a strong little girl. Every day you make us proud. You have changed our lives in a way I never thought was possible. In the few short months you have been with us, we have fallen madly in love with you. You make our days brighter. You make our happy family happier. Now, here are some pictures we took of you this week. We love you baby!
Love,
Mom
Hi Baby! This is my first letter to you. I should write more often, I know. Anyways...you are going to be 15 weeks old on Sunday! We just can't believe it. Time is flying by. And just so you know, your adjusted age will be 4 weeks. I wanted to give you a recap of what we did this week. First off, we met with the Regional Center. Remember them? They will be providing any therapies you may need...physical, occupational, speech...etc. Not that we think you will need them, but these are things we need to stay on top of. As of today, we are still waiting for an assessment of your development and a recommendation for future visits. We also saw the eye doctor this week...and you were released! Yay for you! Your eyes are completely normal for your adjusted age. We made an appointment with a pediatric opthamologist in 3 months to check for any nearsightedness or farsightedness...but I am confident that you can see just perfectly. The good news is, there is no longer a chance for ROP. You are out of the woods baby.
I am sure I don't have to remind you of this, as you still have the bandaids on your legs to prove it, but you had a couple of vaccinations at the doctor's office yesterday. Yes, I am one of THOSE moms who still believes in immunizations. Sorry honey. You weighed in at a whopping 8 pounds 11 ounces! Holy cow are you getting to be a big girl. You were 20.5 inches tall. That's 6 pounds 7 ounces bigger than your birth weight and 6 inches taller than your height at birth. You also showed Dr. Pepek that your walking reflexes are in tact. Daddy and I thought you looked like you were ready to run a marathon. Ok...well, maybe not a marathon...but you are definitely showing signs that you are going to get those little legs going when you are ready to.
This week your personality really started to show. Just this morning we saw what we thought might be a smile...and not because you were pooping! You love getting little kisses on your cheeks. I think that makes you smile. You've also been practicing holding your head up. You LOVE looking at yourself in the mirror, which I think is just adorable. And as it's been since the beginning, you can still yell like nobody's business when you are mad at us.
You continue to amaze your Daddy and me with your progress. You are such a strong little girl. Every day you make us proud. You have changed our lives in a way I never thought was possible. In the few short months you have been with us, we have fallen madly in love with you. You make our days brighter. You make our happy family happier. Now, here are some pictures we took of you this week. We love you baby!
Love,
Mom
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
SAHM I AM?
Well, I finally did it. Today I am officially a stay-at-home-mom. No more leave of absence. No more corporate world. No more business travel. It's over. Now I am embarking on what will probably be the hardest, most tiring, and most rewarding job I will ever have. Stay-at-home-mom.
Yep...that's me. It feels weird just saying it.
So here's what happened.
I have been with the same company for 11 years. Well, it'll be 11 years on December 22nd. I really can't complain, as they have been very good to me over the past 11 years. Anyhow, last April, the 18th to be exact, was the last day that I worked. It was then that all heck broke loose with my pregnancy and I was put on bedrest for what I thought would only be a few days. Well, here we are on December 2nd, and I still haven't been back to the office. Not by choice of course. My employer has been VERY patient with me. Throughout the whole ordeal, they have been by my side, checking in to make sure we were ok, never pressuring me to come back. Paying me...
Until now. Now my time is up. I was told last month I had to return to work by December 8th or they would take me off roll and replace me. I mean, I knew it couldn't last forever, but I was hoping for a couple more months, just to get Abigail through her next surgery. But, they need someone. And I understand. My coworkers have been picking up my slack for long enough.
So...after many discussions with Brian, and after looking at our options for daycare (which are limited considering Abby can't be around other babies), we have decided it is best for her if I stay home for a while. So that's it. I told my boss today that I would not be back on the 8th. She cried. I cried. It was a hard phone call to make. But I know it was the right one. My family needs me.
Yes. My family needs me.
I'm a stay-at-home-mom.
Yep...that's me. It feels weird just saying it.
So here's what happened.
I have been with the same company for 11 years. Well, it'll be 11 years on December 22nd. I really can't complain, as they have been very good to me over the past 11 years. Anyhow, last April, the 18th to be exact, was the last day that I worked. It was then that all heck broke loose with my pregnancy and I was put on bedrest for what I thought would only be a few days. Well, here we are on December 2nd, and I still haven't been back to the office. Not by choice of course. My employer has been VERY patient with me. Throughout the whole ordeal, they have been by my side, checking in to make sure we were ok, never pressuring me to come back. Paying me...
Until now. Now my time is up. I was told last month I had to return to work by December 8th or they would take me off roll and replace me. I mean, I knew it couldn't last forever, but I was hoping for a couple more months, just to get Abigail through her next surgery. But, they need someone. And I understand. My coworkers have been picking up my slack for long enough.
So...after many discussions with Brian, and after looking at our options for daycare (which are limited considering Abby can't be around other babies), we have decided it is best for her if I stay home for a while. So that's it. I told my boss today that I would not be back on the 8th. She cried. I cried. It was a hard phone call to make. But I know it was the right one. My family needs me.
Yes. My family needs me.
I'm a stay-at-home-mom.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Giving Thanks
Well, we had a very nice holiday. Two of them, actually! Brian had to work Thursday, so Abby and I went to my sister's house and enjoyed a yummy dinner with her family and our Mom. We decided to skip going to the station to have dinner with Brian because there were about 40 people there, including many kids. Abigail is still too little to be around too many little ones (did I just break the record for the number of times "too" and "little" were said in one sentence?). We have to keep her healthy and strong for her upcoming surgery in February.
Friday Brian came home and we had ANOTHER Thanksgiving holiday with his family. Brian got to see a cousin he hadn't seen in over 20 years, so it was quite special. We missed you Jeff, Laura and cousin Leila!
We have so much to be thankful for. To much to mention here on my blog, in fact, but thankful we are indeed. Here's hoping you all had a wonderful holiday too!
Friday Brian came home and we had ANOTHER Thanksgiving holiday with his family. Brian got to see a cousin he hadn't seen in over 20 years, so it was quite special. We missed you Jeff, Laura and cousin Leila!
We have so much to be thankful for. To much to mention here on my blog, in fact, but thankful we are indeed. Here's hoping you all had a wonderful holiday too!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
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