Operation Crib

Update:

Our Miracle Blanket arrived in the mail today! I'm not gonna lie, it does very much remind me of a straight jacket. I am having a really hard time with the fact that her hands are secured down at her sides, as she is at the point where she loves to have her hands/fingers in her mouth. Guilt aside, she is in it. I put her down in the PNP a few minutes ago, so we will see how the night progresses. She did stay up later than usual because she had a late nap, and for the first time in a while, I was able to give her a bath right before bedtime (she can only have a bath when her bag leaks, which, as luck would have it, is almost always at some rediculous hour like 5am or something.) What I am trying to say is I have the cards stacked in my favor. Up late. Bath right before bed. Miracle Blanket.

Fingers are crossed. Now...I gotta go. American Idol is on.

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Well, it's day 2 of Operation Crib. We are making strides, albeit, very small ones. Here's my thought process about the whole thing:

Abigail is a terrible sleeper. I think mostly because of her reflux. That and when she was in the hospital she often slept on her tummy (they can do that there because they are hooked up to the heart monitor at all times). My point is that she LOVES sleeping on her tummy and does so quite peacefully. The same cannot be said for her on her back. Anyhow, we have a Pack-and-Play set up in our bedroom. She spends about the first 3 hours of every night in it, sleeping on an incline and on her back. But after about 3 hours, she wakes up hysterical, gassy, and often throwing up, so I pick her up and she spends the rest of the night sleeping on her tummy, on me. Great for her! Not so much for me.

So the thing is, she is almost at the weight limit for the bassinet of the PNP, and with her going into the hospital for a while, I'm thinking we should go cold turkey and go straight to the crib after her hospital stay. I thought I would try to get her used to the crib by putting her in it for naps. Normally, she naps on her tummy on the sofa where I can watch her at all times. Today she fell asleep in my arms so I put her down in the crib and she made it about 25 minutes before she realized where she was and freaked out. So of course, now she is back sleeping out in the living room next to me.

I am sure she would do fine sleeping on her tummy all night, but the what-if-something-happens is just too much for me to bear. Not to mention I spent 7 weeks in the NICU being drilled daily on the whole "back to sleep" thing. I probably wouldn't be so neurotic about it except for the fact that someone very near and dear to me just lost her 8 week old grandson in November to SIDS. So sad.

I have been completely sleep deprived and every ounce of my body hurts because I sleep with a 13 pound baby on my chest every night. She can obviously sleep just fine without me, because she takes great naps. I don't think I've done too much damage yet. But if I don't get some sleep here pretty soon, all heck might just break loose.

As a last resort, I am anxiously awaiting a Miracle Blanket in the mail. After reading about them over at MckMama's, I thought I would give it a try. (By the by, I purchased it on eBay for about half the cost. Yay me! Oh how I do love eBay!) ML sent me a swaddling blanket with feet, which I love except that she Houdini's her way out of the swaddle in about 10 seconds flat. And I know people typically stop swaddling around 4 months, and Abby is almost 5, but her adjusted age is just barely 2 months, so I think it is ok to still swaddle???

I am at a loss. Our nights are very long. And when we don't sleep well at night...well...our days are even longer. Ugh.

Psssst...

(In a whisper)...Guess who is napping in her crib for the first time ever?



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Update.

30 seconds later...

(in my regular voice)...Guess who is not napping in her crib anymore but rather crying hysterically because she was startled awake by a camera flash?

Another. Lesson. Learned.

Just another not-so-manic Monday

Brian got home from work this morning and it was already in the 70s, , heading to the 80's, so we decided to take a walk and took Abby to the beach for the first time! First we got her dressed in an outfit that I never thought she'd be able to wear (a summer outfit in her winter size)



We started at our favorite lunch spot on Main Street.



Sat outside on the patio and enjoyed the view



Had a yummy lunch and decided since



we would enjoy a little



I mean, after all, if you



We pretended to be



Well, actually, we are Irish everyday. Then we decided to take a walk out on the pier



Watched the surfers as they waited for a wave



Finally saw one get up



Noticed a guy trying to catch dinner



And a seagull lurking



Took some random pictures





Brian and Abby met a bear



And forgot to turn the flash on for a picture of me and Abby



but somehow remembered when it was Daddy's turn



Can you see Catalina behind him?

After spending some time out on the pier, we decided to head back to



but they were closed.

And someone seemed to have had enough



Little did we know that she was faking it. We got home and she proceeded to have one of the biggest meltdowns I think I've ever seen.

Can you say overstimulated?

A little health update

Abigail had her 4 month check-up today. Good news...ear infection is gone. Better news...she has finally hit the charts! The percentile charts, that is. She weighed 12 pounds 4 ounces which is a gain of 1p 5oz in just 9 days. Crazy, huh? She is in the 25th percentile for her weight. Her height is 23 inches. She hit the 10th percentile for height. We are just happy she's finally on the map. These numbers are all based on her real age. Doc also said we should be able to start her on solids in about a month and a half.

We also had the Regional Center come by today. They will be following her development for the next 3 years. She will have what they call Infant Stimulation Sessions twice per month for 1 hour at a time. Someone will come to the house and basically play with her and do some exercises. There will also be a Physical Therapist watching her, but just as a consult. Right now they think she is well on target for her adjusted age, so PT is not a requirement...yet. Hopefully we can keep it that way.

They left us with some goals for the next 6 months. At the end of that period they will come back and assess her progress. Our goals are:

1. Maintain stable health. This will be up to us to keep her appointments and have regular check-ups with any doctors and specialists she is currently seeing. Sounds pretty easy to me!

2. Demonstrate age appropriate developmental skills. In 6 months they expect she should be able to maintain stomach position and begin to pivot, assume sitting position on her own, get on her hands and knees, transfer toys from hand to hand, pick up objects, explore textures with mouth and hands, find a partially hidden toy, follow sounds, vocalize vowels (which she is sort-of already doing), combine sounds to make consonant-vowel combos, play independently for 3 minutes, interact with smiles and laughter during play, begin to hold and drink from a sippy cup and finally, finger feed independently. Sounds like we have our work cut out for us with this goal.

3. Stay on target to transition to school at age 3.

It sounds like a lot, but I can't wait to see her start doing some of these things. I have been able to get some coos out of her, and smiling is much more regular these days. I've been working really hard to get her to start the cooing and it is SO cute when she makes her adorable little sounds.

The Regional Center is a state-funded program and really IS amazing. Without them I don't know how we would know what milestones to watch for and it sounds like they have created a plan to keep us well on target. Most of these therapies are not covered by insurance (Physical, Speech, Occupational), so it is nice to have this program available to us. I expect it will make a world of difference in her development.

Now...for the BIG news...

Drumroll please...................................................................

We have a surgery date!!!

That's right! They surgeon's office called earlier this week and her surgery is scheduled for 7:30am on Thursday, January 29th. I can't believe the time has finally come and soon this whole intestinal nightmare will be behind us. Don't get me wrong, it absolutely kills me to know that my little girl has to go back into the hospital. She will be put under general anesthesia. She will be re-intubated. She will not be able to eat for several days. By no means is this an easy operation. It is, in fact, very invasive and comes with a host of potential complications. They will watch her carefully and run many tests for several days after the surgery to ensure her bowels are working properly before they attempt to feed her. And once she's tolerating food and her intestines are working properly, she will be able to come home.

Seriously...I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it. I don't know yet whether or not we will be able to stay at her bedside at night, but surely I am going to push for that. It breaks my heart to think of being in the house without my sweet Abby here, even if only for a short time. I just have to keep reminding myself that it is a good thing. She will finally have the quality of life she should have had from the get-go.

It's a good thing.

21 days and counting...

Please feel free to spread the word. She will need all the help she can get.

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Meatloaf Brownies

For some reason, tonight I feel compelled to tell you this story. I am not really sure why. Maybe its because if you knew me personally, you would have for sure heard it by now.

You see, it’s one of those stories. You know the kind. The one you hope will never get repeated because it is so embarrassing for you, and yet, without fail, it is mentioned at every family gathering. Every holiday. It is told to every new friend that meets the family for the first time. Hell…it is told every time anyone mentions meatloaf, or sees a meatloaf, or smells a meatloaf...

I know you know the kind.

Anyhow…on with my story…

I was 14. It was my freshman year of high school and I was living, temporarily, with my Dad, my new stepmom Arlene, my sister, and my 2 new stepbrothers. Arlene worked, and would often ask one of us kids to start dinner when we got home from school. She always left very detailed instructions about how to prepare whatever meal it was we were having. So one day, it was my turn to get dinner in the oven. We were having meatloaf. In her instructions she told me what to mix into the meat…eggs, bread crumbs, onion soup mix, a little ketchup. Easy peasy. No problem. Done.

The next step was to put the meat into a 9x13” Pyrex dish. Um. Hold on. I thought I was making meatloaf? Mom always used a meatloaf pan. Tall. Narrow. Looks like it would cook an actual loaf, unlike the Pyrex dish, which, as far as I knew was used to make things like cake, or a casserole, or...um...brownies. But certainly not a meatloaf. I was confused. I read Arlene’s instructions again, and noticed that she had left the Pyrex dish out for me. Huh. I knew I better follow her directions exactly. I mean…she was my new stepmom, and I didn’t want to ruin dinner for everyone. Besides, maybe the way my Mom had made it all these years was wrong.

So I did as she directed. I put the meat in the Pyrex pan. I put it in the oven. Later, she came home from work and my new family sat down to eat. Arlene opened the oven. She looked at me and said, “where’s the meatloaf”? I said,…”right there, in the Pyrex dish”. She said “no…these are brownies…where’s the meatloaf?"

It turns out, when she instructed me to put the meatloaf in the Pyrex dish, what she meant was for me to make a loaf and place it in the center of the dish, so that when the fat drained as it cooked, the fat wouldn’t settle on the top, like it does in a meatloaf pan.

Oops.

And so it goes…21 years later…my family still does not let me forget when I did just as I was told and put the meatloaf in the Pyrex dish.

Meatloaf brownies.

Did I mention that I love Amelia Bedilia? Hmmm…I wonder why.

Then and Now #2

Last night my Mom made an observation.

"Her hands are so tiny", she said.

It got me thinking that maybe it's time for a few more "then and nows"...



Then, her hands were tiny. Now her hands are big less tiny???

Again...tiny feet then, big less tiny feet now.

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Then, she was my little skinny minny.

<

Now she is my little chunky monkey.

<

Then, I would drop her right down inside my shirt.

<

Now, she is the entire length of my shirt...and then some.

<

I don't know what I struggle with more...

Accepting how big she is now, or believing that she was ever that small.

Either way, I love my big less tiny girl!

Our first ear infection

...and it sucks. I mean she's been through mountains of crap worse than a little ear infection, but I still feel like a jerk for not taking her to the doctor sooner. Poor thing has been fussy and miserable since Saturday. Crying every waking minute. Stuffy nose. Not sleeping well. And I just kept thinking it was a little sinus thing and there was nothing they could give her for it anyways. Another lesson learned for the new Mommy. Now that she has some antibiotics, maybe we can both get some rest and start feeling a little better.

Oh, speaking of doctors...I failed to mention this before...she had her colostomy study done last week. It was horrible for her and I think I am scarred for life having to watch her go through it. Luckily she won't remember it, and well, hopefully for me it will soon be nothing more than a repressed memory. Anyhow, she had a barium enema, and I am sure you can imagine, it wasn't pleasant. On top of it all, they were running behind so the poor little girl had to go about 6 hours without food. As if the enema wasn't bad enough! BUT, now that the test is out of the way, we are one step closer to her intestines being reattached. We are still looking at sometime in January, but are waiting to hear back from the surgeon once he sees the results of the study.

She weighed 10 pounds 15 ounces today at the doctor. She has her next RSV shot next week. And speaking of RSV...please keep the little miracle Stellan in your prayers, as it sounds like MckMama and her family are going through a lot right now.



Oh, c'mon...you didn't think I could make it through an entire update without a picture did you???