Is there a doctor in the house?

I don't know if it has anything to do with how many hours/days/weeks my girls have spent in the hospital or at doctor's appointments, but one of Abby's favorite things to do is play with the stethoscope.

And Lilly doesn't seem to mind at all!

Abby has discovered the wonderful world of pretend play and I absolutely love it. From being a "doctor" to having full "conversations" on the (pretend) phone...she really has quite an imagination.

I'm not sure what the title of this post should be

We have been so busy the past two weeks, but for the first time in a long time, I feel like we have accomplished so much.  We survived the MRI and the results, and after a brief, but inevitable pity party, I am feeling really good about what is in store for Abby. She will begin physical therapy this Thursday and will have two 45-minute sessions per week. I was even able to name the days and times, so it will be every Monday at 11am and every Thursday and 10am.  I love consistency!  After 25 visits, she will be re-evaluated and we will go from there. Total random sidenote...it's 9:12pm as I type this, I just put Abby to bed, and I can hear her up there singing shouting,  her ABC's. I love that little girl!

Another thing checked off my list...preschool! Not only did we get Abby into our first choice of schools, but we were able to get her into the days and times we wanted too. And she even has a little friend who will be in her class. Wahoo!

As for Lilly, she had her developmental clinic this week.  I was somewhat surprised at the results.  First of all, I shoud mention that she is 14.75 months old, 12.5 months adjusted. She weighs 26 pounds 5 ounces and is 32.5" tall.  This is about 3lbs more and 2.5 inches taller than Abby was at the same age.  Anyways, her scores were:

Cognitive Age Equivilant: 17 months
Receptive and Expressive Language: 13 months
Fine and Gross Motor: 12 months

I guess what was a surprise to me is that I was expecting her Fine and gross motor skills to score higher than her cognitive scores, not that I have anything to base that expectation on, except maybe Abby's scores at the same age.   Anyways, she did very well and although I am grateful that she is on target, it also means that she doesn't qualify for services or even to be followed by RCOC, which, in light of Abby's recent diagnosis, I am a little bummed about.

The pediatrician and therapist who evaulated Lilly at developmental clinic are the same ones that followed Abby for 2 years. The same ones who didn't notice Abby's abnormal gait. The same ones who discharged her. Let me tell you that it didn't take long before I let them know about her recent diagnosis...not to make them feel bad for missing such a major diagnosis, but in hopes that maybe in the future they will pay a little closer attention to the future tippy-toe walkers who come through their clinic (and maybe a little teeny-tiny part of me wanted them to feel a teeny-tiny bit bad about missing such a major diagnosis).

Ok, enough with my bitterness, for now...I do have some thoughts on the subject of sensitivity (or lack thereof), which I plan to write about soon...but I should get to bed now.  I am keeping all those affected by the earthquake and tsunami in my prayers, and before I go , I ask that you please read this story, and say a prayer their family as well.

A Better Late than Never Wordless Wednesday

Just when I was feeling the lowest I've felt in a long time...I received this picture in an email...one I had never seen before.

It's just what I needed.

A giggle.

A Mother's Guilt

Tonight I should be feeling relief and yet I feel nothing but a mountain of guilt. Abby's MRI results confirmed what we suspected. Mild CP.

I should be relieved that it wasn't something worse.
I should be relieved that it is "mild".
I should be relieved that there is something we can do to help her.

And yet all I feel right now is guilt.

Guilt for her being born prematurely.
Guilt for her not having her twin sister by her side every minute of every day.
Guilt for her being so sick at birth.
Guilt for dismissing her "abnormal gait" for so long when I knew something wasn't quite right.
Guilt for letting her therapists discharge her.
Guilt for letting her down, repeatedly.
Guilt that my body failed all three of my daughters, in one way or another.

Tonight, all I feel is guilt.

Abby's MRI

Just a quick update...the MRI went well.  Abby was such a trooper.  She put up quite the fight going under and when she went limp in my arms I just started to cry. It was so hard to walk away from her, but about 50 minutes later she was waking up and back in my arms.  She was really cranky. The doctor said that even in her unconscious state, she tried to pull the IV out of the back of her hand.  That's my girl! We ran into our favorite doctor while we were in recovery. The one who saved our little girl's life. The one who performed the surgery on her when she was just 3 days old and again when she was 6 months.  I am sure he loves to see how his patients are doing just as much as we love seeing him.  He couldn't believe how great Abby looked (even if she was just waking up from anesthesia).  Anyways, she recovered nicely, took a good nap in the afternoon, and was quickly back to her normal self.  Now we are just waiting for Tuesday to hear the results.  As for the PT assessment, they are going to recommend two 45 minute sessions per week to start.  We're in a holding pattern again while the report gets submitted to insurance and approved and blah blah blah.

Lilly is getting more interested in walking and will now pretty regularly walk 10 or so steps around the living room.  She still prefers to crawl though and gets around much faster that way.  It may be a couple more weeks or so until we can officially call it "walking".  But she's getting there.

I have another cold...sinus thing...whatever...I don't know.  I just know I feel like poo. I had to work yesterday and today and I'm looking forward to spending some time with my girls this weekend. 

That's it!  Thanks once again for all of the well wishes and prayers for Abby.  They worked!

An MRI, PT Assessment and Preschool

To say we have been a little busy would be a bit of an understatement. The good thing about being busy I suppose, is that I haven't had too much time to dwell on the fact that in less than 2 days we will once again be back at the hospital, putting Abby under general anesthesia, for what will hopefully be an uneventful MRI. Then its just a short long, excrutiatingly painful and anxiety filled 6 days until we see the neurologist for the results. She had her pre-anesthesia physical today and appears to be healthy with the exception of some fluid in her right ear, which is either lingering from the last ear infection or the beginning of yet another. Luckily it's not a show stopper though. At two-and-a-half years old she weighs 34 pounds and is 36 inches tall.  Lately it's been really hard to get her to eat. Not sure what's up with that but I guess since she's well above the 90th percentile for her weight, all is good right now. On a whim two days ago I decided to convert her crib to a toddler bed.  She's slept through the night and napped both days since, so maybe she was ready for it, or maybe it's the calm before the storm...time will tell.  Today Brian and I visited what we think is our first choice on the list for preschools. We are going to try to take Abby back on Thursday during classtime to spend some time in the class and see how she does in their environment.  If it works out well, registration is next week and hopefully there will be a spot for her. Tomorrow she has her PT evaluation with her new therapists. We really like the place we found and are anxious to get her started.  I have no idea what to expect as far as how much therapy will be needed and how many days per week or month we will be going, but it's just a matter of time before those questions are answered. As for Lilly, well, she's 14 months old and I would be lying if I said I wasn't a wee bit concerned about the fact that she isn't walking yet. She takes a couple of steps here and there, and every once in a while gets 7 or 8 steps without dropping to her knees, so we know she can do it, and I am hoping soon she will want to do it.  She has her developmental assessment next week and it should shed a lot of light on what we need to work on with her. She's as cute as can be though and oh my goodness, she's like a human garbage disposal.  The kid will eat anything and everything. She's quite the chunk, but I love it.
As usual Brian is working as much as he can, eventhough OT in the LAFD is hard to come by these days. I even worked 3 days last week which I am paying dearly for now. Being away for 10 hours for 3 days out of 4 was a little much for me, and the girls.  All I know is that I am really looking forward to getting these next two busy and stressful weeks behind us so we can get back to normal, whatever that is. 

Wordless Wednesday

(Abby's first pony ride)